Switzerland, The Long Slow Version

Switzerland! Oh, my

Taken by your intense peaks

Your beauty fills us

A little haiku for your traveling sensibilities.

We know we are moving along and have dates to keep with other beauties but we could have stayed in the grip of the Swiss Alps. I offer some visual aids, cultivated to convey the spirit of it all, but they will be inadequate.

First, a confession. We are humbled, probably better to say ashamed, to be single-languaged, mono-lingual, lame (also known as American). This has been true throughout our journey but especially here in Switzerland.

Our travel day from the sweet little town of Garmisch, in southern Germany, to Interlaken was jarring. It was long, first of all, but we have stamina for that. It was hot, less stamina and less tolerance  but still we accept it’s just the weather. What so jarred us was the nature of the travel day. More specifically it wasn’t the traveling or the 5 trains and 1 huge double decker bus (coolest thing ever!), it was the impossible connection times between each of them, in stations we had never been. We had a talk the night before, Taylor and I, to just calibrate our solidarity. Not the end of the world if we missed one of these connections so we’d go for it and see how it all went.

It was like a cruel obstacle course for a dumb sorority challenge. Ok, teams, the alphabetabeta yells from the bullhorn. You can’t loose your backpacks. You must all cross the finish line together. 15, 11, 6 minute connections, that’ll be exciting. And you won’t know where the buses come and go in the train stations or what tracks your trains are coming and going from, part of the mystery, right? This is so exciting! Have fun, GO!

We started the day on the wrong train. Right track, right time… why are there TWO TRAINS ON THE SAME TRACK?! Just to mess with us. Our gear had been stowed, kids in seats starting to play, when the discovery was made. OFFFOFFFOFFFOFFFQUICKQUICKQUICK!

The kids dutifully sprinted. Graham, feeling there were too many bags left for Taylor and I, jumped back on to the burning train to help. Taylor and I will never forget first his shocking appearance back on the train and second the straining-to-save -his-life trying lift my unbudging pack. (After this Ian named my pack Thor’s Hammer, unliftable by all but Thor, which I secretly love.)

It was 90 degrees that day. We were running through stations, drawing stares on the civilized Swiss trains, trying desperately to not raise our voices. Not one of the spectators was drenched in sweat. How are these people not sweating? Once we didn’t know that we had lost Graham for about twenty seconds between trains. He miraculously found us through a crowd before we  noticed (the asshole sorority travel challenge supervisor would have DQ’d us for sure) and boy was he angry. So angry in fact, that it took him a couple trains to get over it. That and he had serious doubts about our competence. He was quite unforgiving for the rest of the day. Poor guy. Poor us; he can be a tough customer.

We survived the day, drained and dehydrated; more savvy for the next (we had a shitshow of a time getting our rental car in rural Italy, which involved the kindness of a Moroccan immigrant, a drug lord and hitchhiking before finally securing the damn thing which makes the Swiss train fiasco, as we’ve come to know it, easy).

We expected certain things of Switzerland. The alps, clean trains, punctuality, a fluidity of languages, fondue and altitude, all accounted for. Unexpected things were the heat and mugginess, the off-the-charts fondue (with so few ingredients how could it be much better than it is everywhere? Oh, it’s WAY better, and no cheese hangover). We also expected the inflated prices, mediocre beer, and taylor notes the shocking lack of Swiss cheese. The streets were clean. The people were more of a melting pot mix and looked less like a Ricola coughdrop yodeling marketing campaign. (We were however in the area during the summer yodeling, umm, symposium? Still no Heidi.)

The cows really do wear, at the minimum, door-knocker sized cowbells around their necks. I should say castle-door-knocker size. Long before you approach them in the mountains you hear them. It sounds like a short-bus band practice; no one on the same beat and all bell ringers swinging away to save their lives. That’s what it sounds like. But when you actually see them it’s a surprise. All that racket coming from seemingly perfectly still beasts, lots of them laying down. They chew with a rhythm apparently; all kinds of different rhythms. I adore this. The kids think I’m weird.

Another unexpected thing, these cows dominate the summertime ski runs, the high mountain meadows are theirs. We were told that Swiss chocolate is unparalleled because of their cows’ diet. Edelweiss, the chief sweetener, and wildflowers of every color blanket the meadows. Wonder how happy Reichels would be, meadows full of every chocolate? I’d swing that bell.

The landscape is intense, no denying it. Sheer cliffs, chiseled peaks, wild wooded landscapes between velvet patches of ag lands, bucolic rivers and charming architecture – if this does not affect you then you must be dead inside (or 14, which is not the same thing).

We see that Switzerland is complicated and hard to truly know. We’d love to understand more; like what’s really with all this neutrality? What’s the real story? They certainly are asking that about the US. Nice to leave conversations to return to.

Coming in to Interlaken from southern Germany; shocked by the color of the lakes. How many shades of green? It’s the beginning of a love affair perhaps.

Interlaken is unceremoniously named for its position between two lakes, two gorgeous pristine lakes. What about the blue? These are not granite peaks – this still stuns me – but softer rocks that leach minerals more readily. The pastel blue lakes are from minerals from the mountains and glaciers. Interlaken itself has much of its own history and magic to take in, you can appreciate it with the naked eye. What takes a while to discern however is that it is choked by a flood of tourists on their way to somewhere else, much like we intended. This makes for a very different tourist-town feel. It’s not a destination in its own right although it certainly should be. Interlaken is getting shortchanged. It has history, culinary interests, lake activities, thrill-seeking,  (mountain biking, insane paragliding right into the city park, hiking) or enriching cultural heights, whatever that means.

This is a short jaunt up to the peak directly above the town, Harder Kulm, which translates to “Hardest Climb so take the damn train up”. The view up here is hard to imagine, left to one lake and mountains beyond, right to another lake and mountains beyond ( the two inter-laken lakes), and our first shock of the glaciers, further up.

We took care of some random business while in Interlaken.

Groceries at the Co-op. 1. Of course their national grocery store is a Co-op. 2. Wow!! Let’s get it! Wait, no. Who was betting it would take over two weeks to encounter a properly-sized Toblerone bar? I was warring with the Parent in me – Put that down, you animals! Tourists.
Haircut. Yay!! We were able to accommodate an impulse Piper was having for a bob. With one haircut we shed some signs of our little girl. Lovely sophisticated haircut and oh, so practical!

Taking in Interlaken for 24 hours; we are using her but she is using us as well. It’s a town that has evolved to shake your money tree. We strolled the main drag from the train station after dropping our bags. Then after cheese and bread (aka dinner) in our room we went back out. Looking back, we couldn’t quite get past the souvenir shop feeling in Interlaken. We tried to find her natural self.  Curious if any of you have spent much time here?

We decided to linger the next morning and so with the beauty of Harder Kulm and a curious chocolate school we saw a bit deeper into Interlaken. We would have loved to stay longer, off the beaten path, for a different perspective.

We stumbled onto the Swatch watch mother ship store (I think flagship is the usual term but this really felt like time warp meets shopping vortex – mother ship). Anyone remember having one in the ’80s? They have sooo many fascinating patterns (the non-retail term for that is gimmick).
Chocolate making class. Very important Swiss activity. Each kid made a pound of chocolate, really really good chocolate. Good news: Not only is that community chocolate but team captains had a lunch date at the Indian restaurant next door during this happy event. Mom and Dad say thank you!
I’m sensing an increasing solidarity between this merry band of thieves. Today anyway. Graham is showing us the chef-sanctioned chocolate on his elbows. Thrilled and a little bit high (them, not us), we collect our kids to go walk it off.

 

Cooling our feet in one of their pristine canals… ha! Ugly American style! Not pristine now. Actually there were others swimming up and down the canal. Look at the color of that water! Can you imagine a canal running through a city in the US clean enough to swim in? We have seen others beside Interlaken’s and the residents are not only aware of it, they’re proud of it. I think the solar energy phenomenon is a whole other issue but there is a lot of pride around that as well. There was a day in 2016, you may have heard, that Germany was able to fuel their country for an entire day on the solar energy they had collected.

Wengen

From Interlaken it’s a short jaunt to Lauterbrunnen, which feels far enough into the alps to be surreal, but we’ve got a bed in the next village up, so on we go. A cog train takes you further into the mountains to Wengen. The ride there and around to the various neighbor villages for hikes and adventures was the prettiest by far.

One of many little glacier-fed waterfalls that fringe the train ride. After all that Interlaken action it was time to head up to Wengen, high in the mountains. Caught an evening train out of Interlaken.

From our window. Treated to a nice sunset at nearly 9:30pm.

Wengen train station. Cog train in the background, I think.
The start of a fabulous dinner – two baguettes. Good job, Aidan.
Waiting for the tram to start what was going to become our epic day of hiking and glaciers. The tram dropped us on the peak in the background. We could have ridden a train but preferred the tram. The station there is the highest train station in Europe, Kleine Sheidegg. From there we hiked for a couple hours before deciding to take the cog train through a 100 year old rock tunnel to the peak, Jungfrau Peak! 13,600 feet. The glaciers seen here are drastically receding and the commercialism of the underground complex there ranged from grotesque to twilight-zone-ish.
Jungfraujoch is the commercial complex at the Jungfrau peak. We waited for a rare moment without people in the photo- the throngs of people detracted from the serenity and sublimity of the peak.
Looking down the Jungfrau glacier from the Jungfraujoch (the tourist complex). The glaciers up here are drastically receding and visibly deep cracks run through out. Once up top, among them, it was unusually warm.

We found a quiet corner out of the wind. Because we are tough Spokanites, hearty and newly into our Viking blood, we did the summit in shorts, no jackets, unlike our tourist colleagues in parkas, etc. One Japanese man laughed openly and pointed at our naked legs. We didn’t see him out on the deck as I recall. Despite signs in many languages, prohibiting smoking due to research and atmospheric air sampling, we were choking out on this deck with all the chainsmokers getting their nicotine on.
Inside, deciding if we have to go out there to make the journey complete. After a thimble full of $5 hot choc and some Paprika Pringles, we do it!
That’s Piper off on a personal mission to see more and more tiny wildflowers. After catching this photo I looked up and she was gone. Is this that moment? Diarrhea and nausea rise up and down instantly. These are the alps. Is that a cliff? You can see how small she is – she was really far away. By the time I made even a quarter of the distance to where I last saw her she was happily bounding back into view w flowers. No cliff, just more rolling meadow and her mother’s aneurysm. Okey doke. Can we get back to the glacier hike? Less diarrhea.

Hiking past Kleine Scheidegg, the highest train stop (I think it’s over 11,000′). This is the secret ingredient in Swiss chocolate.
Hiking to Murren.
Glacial runoff
Band practice

Best fondue we’ve ever had! (I’m guessing it’s the flowers everyone eats up here.) Happy Birthday, Ian!!

Thank you, Switzerland.

3 thoughts on “Switzerland, The Long Slow Version”

  1. This is so much fun to read! Hilarious about the trains. Wonderful that you could snatch a lunch date. You know we will expect a Reichel Family chocolate demo evening….

    What beautiful countryside and you are making the most of this trip!

  2. I am still having trouble wrapping my head around the beauty of these places and just through photos so the real thing must be breath taking. But the CHOCOLATE!!!!!

  3. I WANT A SWATCH!!!
    And Chocolate making???
    Heaven.
    I love your writing – so you!

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